Update 19-6-2013 Nick - Kirsten fanfic

“We have to go brother” AJ tapped him on the shoulder. Nick sighed. This was the moment he had been trying to avoid since the moment he woke up that morning. Kirsten looked at him with a very sad look in her eyes. He curled his arm around her and gave her a kiss on the cheek. 

“Are you ready?” he whispered in her ear.

Kirsten took a deep breath and gave him a weak smile “I guess so”. She stood up and with her the rest of the group. They wished her a safe trip home and hugged her wishing her strength.

“Thanks guys, we really have to leave now” Nick tried to speed things up a little.

Brian gave Kirsten a final hug “listen sweetie, if there’s anything I can do you let me know okay.”

Kirsten nodded and she felt tears welling up in her eyes again.

“If you want to talk, have a little fun or whatever you know where to find me” he hugged her tight and then let her go.

Nick took Kirsten’s suitcase and her hand and guided her to the mini - van.  They stepped into the vehicle and didn’t spoke a word on their way to the airport. Kirsten couldn’t speak anyway. The lump in her throat and the tears behind her eyes trying to come out prevented her to speak. She still couldn’t believe that her dad passed away. The thought about it was bizarre.  

Nick felt awkward. He wanted to comfort her but just didn’t know what to say. He hated seeing her in this pain. He also couldn’t bear the thought of saying goodbye to her in the next hour. He didn’t know when he was going to see her again. A lump appeared in his throat. And he felt the tears behind his eyes too. He swallowed to make the lump go away but without success. He played with the car radio while driving and skipped from one radio station to the other.  He then looked at Kirsten and saw her crying in silence.  He lay his hand on her leg “I’m so sorry baby” he choked and tears rolled over his cheeks. Kirsten weakly smiled back and tried to brush away the tears on his cheeks.  “Look at us, crying like children” she smiled while tears still ran over her cheeks. “Yes well, it’s not that strange given the circumstances” Nick dried his own tears with the back of his hand. He turned down to the right and drove up to the parking lot of the airport. He parked the car and stopped the engine. Kirsten played with her bracelet, extending her last moments with Nick. She sighed “Well I guess this is it then”.

Nick buckled off his safety belt and turned to her “I’m so gonna miss you” the tears rolled over his cheeks. “Me too” Kirsten choked and broke down in tears too. They hugged each other and his lips found hers.  Their kiss lasted for 5 minutes. They really didn’t wanted to let go of each other but they had to if Kirsten didn’t want to miss her plane.  Nick stopped the kiss “Come sweetie, I don’t want to but we have to” he sighed. Kirsten nodded “Yes I know”.

They got out of the vehicle and Nick took her suitcase from the car. Sadness came over his heart. She took his hand and they walked inside the airport. Inside they quickly found the register to check in and after the luggage drop off he walked her to the “Customs”.  Now they really had to say goodbye. Nick wrapped his arms around her and began to cry. Kirsten held him tight to her and also cried. “I’m so gonna miss you” she whispered trough her tears. He didn’t want to let go but the customs officer made clear the gate was almost closing. He kissed Kirsten one last long time and then she turned to the officer. Her plane ticket and passport got accepted and she walked in the direction of the gate to go to her plane. She looked over her shoulder to Nick and wished she didn’t have to leave without him. She saw his face and knew he was dying in a little on the inside. She waved at him and he waved back and then she was through the gate.  She couldn’t see Nick anymore. This was so hard. She walked to the seats to wait for the plane to leave. She felt her phone buzzing in her pocket.

I miss you already. It sucks leaving you here and knowing you’re going to a really hard time and I can’t go with you to support you. I love you so much. I can’t describe it. I’m climbing the walls ‘cause I miss you babe. Xxxxxxxxxx Nick

She quickly texted him back.

I miss you too baby. I can’t believe all this happening to me right now. If only you could be with me. I love you Nick. I’ll call as soon as I arrive on Schiphol airport. I have to go now, the plain leaves within a couple of minutes. Love you baby xxxxxx Kirsten.

She sends the message and joined the others in line to the final ticket / passport check to get into the plane.

Meanwhile, 

Nick went back through the airport to go to the van. A couple of fans recognized him on his way back to the parking lot. With all this happening he totally forgot to put on sunglasses and a baseball cap which usually worked if he wanted to be incognito. Even though he was sad he did took the time to take pictures and give autographs to them. That was part of the deal being a Backstreetboy. You had to make time for the fans in order to stay successful and loved by them. Normally it was never an issue. He loved the contact with his audience, but today was just not his day.   

After saying goodbye to the fans he finally reached the van and drove back to the hotel.  He felt miserable. He walked into the hotel and reached his room. He had to perform tonight and had to hurry to reach the venue. He was going to be late for sound check but the guys would cover for him. He grabbed a backpack and got an extra set of clothes, his toiletry bag and his glasses. It was awfully quiet and empty in his room. A tear rolled over his cheek. He took a deep breath and walked back to the minivan to get to the venue.

After a little while he reached the venue and quickly went inside and rushed to stage where the others were busy with the sound check party. He got welcomed on stage by the fans with loud cheering and screams. He took the microphone and spoke “I’m sorry I’m late. I hope you don’t hold it against me. It was something personal I had to do. But I’m here and now we can continue this party!” he smiled. He had to play happy go lucky until the show was over. The others hadn’t told the fans what was going on and Nick was thankful for that.

The sound check went by and during diner Nick didn’t really spoke to any of the guys. He felt love sick. He had looked on his phone almost a thousand times to see if there were any messages from Kirsten. It was foolish of course. He knew she had to fly for over 10 hours to get home in the Netherlands. So by the time she was able to text or call him it was early in the morning here and he was probably, hopefully, asleep.   

He played a little with his food not feeling very hungry when Howie sat down next to him. “Are you okay?” Howie asked while taking a bite from his taco. “I don’t know, no not really. But I can’t do anything about hey” he took a sip from his beer. Howie frowned “are you drinking?” Nick’s frowned back “What are you saying? I can’t have a beer with my dinner? What is your problem?”.

“Relax man, all I wanted to say is that booze is not going to fix your problems” Howie explained.

“Well thanks but I don’t need your advice. And for your information, I was only having a beer because it tastes good with Chinese food” Nick bitched back.

“Listen, if you need some company come to my room after the show. We’ll watch a movie, play some cards. Kev is joining us too” Howie suggested.

“Maybe, I don’t know” Nick sighed while sipping on his drink.

Howie stood up “I’m going to hair and make – up, see you there ok?” and walked towards the hall near the dressing rooms.

The show went well that night. The crowd was as excited as ever and Nick managed to keep his thoughts to the show and gave everything in his performance. It helped him escape the hurt he felt.

After the show they went back to the hotel. “Are you coming with us?” Howie asked.

“No, I’m gonna try and sleep. It’s been a very intense day today”.